Just Jeff

Funny Fridays

2012-02-03T11:08:00.000-06:00

Happy

FUNNY FRIDAY FUCKERS!!!

Here’s yourmusic…sigh (love) this song.

Create a playlist at MixPod.com

Heeeeeere we go……

OH...NEVER MIND!

I am really concerned about

North Korea

's appointment of the "dearleader", Kim Jung Ill'syoungest son to be the new leader of

North Korea--

a nuclear power!

After all, Kim Jung Un (pronounced Kim's young-un?) had NO military experience whatsoever before daddymade him a four-star general in the military.This is a snot-nose twerp who has never accomplished anything in his life that would even come closeto military leadership: he hasn't evenso much as led a cub scout troop, coached a sports team or commanded a military platoon... ...So, settingthat aside, next they make him the "belovedleader" of the country. Terrific!!!

Oh, crap! I'm sorry. I just remembered that we did the same thing here. We took a community organizer who hasnever worn a uniform and made him Commander-in-Chief;a guy who has never led anything more than an ACORN demonstration and made him the leaderof this country.

I'm sorry I broughtthis up, never mind.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you calla person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

TEACHER: George Washington notonly chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admittedit. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: BecauseGeorge still had the axe in his hand.....

The guys were all at a deer camp. No onewanted to room with Bob, because he snored so badly. They decided itwasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted totake turns.

The first guy slept with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning with hishair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened toyou? He said, "Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched himall night."

The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing, hairall standing up, eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened toyou? You look awful! He said, 'Man, that Bob shakes the roof with hissnoring. I watched him all night."

The third night was Fred's turn. Fred was a tanned, older cowboy, a man'sman. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed."Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it. They said,"Man, what happened?"

He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Bob into bed,patted him on the ass and kissed him good night. Bob sat up and watchedme all night."

In the world of hi-tech gadgetry, I’ve noticed that more andmore people who send text messages and emails have long forgotten the art ofcapital letters. For those of you who fall into this category, pleasetake note of the following statement:

“Capitalization is the difference between helpingyour Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.”

Is everybody clear on that?

Two Texas Highway Patrol Officers wereconducting speeding enforcement on Hwy 77, just south of Kingsville , TX.

One of the officers was using a hand held radar device to check speedingvehicles approaching the town of Kingsville . The officers were suddenlysurprised when the radar gun began reading 300 miles per hour and climbing.

The officer attempted toreset the radar gun, but it would not reset and then it suddenly turned off.

Just then a deafening roar over the Mesquite treetops on Hwy 77 revealed that the radar had in fact, locked on to a USMC F/A-18Hornet which was engaged in a low flying exercise near this, it's Naval Airhome base location in Kingsville TX.

Back at the Texas Highway Patrol Headquarters in Corpus Christi the Patrol Captain fired off acomplaint to the

NavalBase Commander in Kingsville forshutting down his equipment.

The reply came back intrue USMC style:

"Thank you for yourletter....

You may be interested toknow that the tactical computer in the Hornet had detected the presence of, andsubsequently locked on to, your hostile radar equipment and automatically senta jamming signal back to it, which is why it shut down.

Furthermore, anAir-to-Ground missile aboardthe fully armed aircraft had also automatically locked on to your equipment'slocation.

Fortunately, the MarinePilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation for what it was, quicklyresponded to the missile system alert status and was able to override the automated defense systembefore themissile was launched todestroy the hostile radar position on the side of Hwy 77, south. of Kingsville

The pilot suggests youcover your mouthswhen swearing at them, since the videosystems on these jets are very high tech.

Sergeant Johnson, theofficer holding the radar gun, should get his dentist to check his left rear molar. It appears the filling is loose.Also,the snap is brokenon his holster."

WhyI Call Him Honey

An elderly lady was invited to an old friends home for dinner one
evening. She was impressed by the way her lady friend preceded every
request to her husband with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love,
Darling, Sweetheart, etc.
The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly, they were
still very much in love.

While the husband was in the living room, her lady friend leaned over
to her hostess to say, 'I think it's wonderful that, after all these
years, you still call your husband all those loving names'.

The elderly lady hung her head. 'I have to tell you the truth,' she
said, 'his name slipped my mind about 10 years ago, and I'm scared to
death to ask the cranky old asshole what his name is.'

Iwas devastated to find out my wife was having an affair but,
by turning to religion, I was soonable to come to terms with the whole thing.
I converted to Islam, and we'restoning her in the morning!

The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers,
so I did....she's 21 and her name'sLucy.

My girlfriend says she thinks that I might be a stalker.
Well... she's not exactly mygirlfriend yet.

Alrighty fuckers, I’mout! Have a kick ass weekend.

Remember Boys andGirls…..Oral sex is how good friends say hello!

They can't silence me

2012-01-25T12:44:00.001-06:00

SO, I am posting this vedio mainly because I see it as a real life threat to our freedoms, not on a political note but just in general. So, here's the link, watch it, and my response will make sense.

He gave his email, so I felt I must respond and I did send this:

Firstly let me state to you, "You Sir, are a patriot and someone that makes me proud beyond the scope of my vocabulary to be an American as well as a server of our freedom". I have always said there is no cause, no job or anything more noble than risking one's life for his or her country.I believe that with my strongest convictions and will never waiver on that.

I am sure I will end up long winded, as I always do when speaking on such issues. I will try to limit that as best I can. I am sure your inbox is flooded with responses and you barely have the time to read each one much less the ramblings of a man that so compassionately agrees with you.

I have always been a Republican. On the same note I have ALWAYS voted for Ron Paul in the primary system. I used to think, this was my voice. This was my way to let my party know they were on the wrong track. I thought it was best this way to let the elite in the party know a growing part of their base were leaving in disgrace because of the irrationality they carried as well as making there no divide any longer between Republican or Democrat and nothing short of only really one thought, one party line combined between the two truly existing. I thought I was doing my citizen duty to the best of my ability. I was not. My party has abandoned its foundation. My party has ignored the gaining block of freedom. I left my party in disgrace. This year, they will not silence me. This year I stand with Ron Paul and freedom fighters. I attend rallies, I will become a delegate in my state after we hold our primary. I have turned my normal social media streams of comedy and poetry into a constant stream of support for Paul. I can tell you in my personal belief no man has moved me this way since Reagan. I get chills listening to him speak. I am amazed at how he pleads his case that our country is losing its way day by day, senator by senator. I will even support him as an independent if he so chooses, throwing away the notion that it would lead to another Obama victory. There comes a time to stand for right, even if we know loss will occur. That is what I have committed to this year and the next and going forth.

So my thoughts for you are as simple as this: In order for freedom to survive the right of one to challenge authority must exist. One must still be allowed to say, I do not agree. Our Army, though never not following an order or undermining the Commander and Chief, must be able to retain the human element to at least cry out in public, on their own time, when we have wronged. After all, even in modern times we ask why Nazi soldiers didn't stand up for right and not follow orders. One can only hope this tragedy will not occur again. So there should never be reprimand to those serving that simply want to say, this is wrong. This is not deceit, this is not undermining the mission, this is your right as a citizen of this great country to do.

I applaud you. Keep the faith, keep up the good fight, and most of all be safe. Because at this point in my lifetime, I fear more of my government here at home than I do any terrorist where we are fighting currently.

Gingrich agrees with Paul multiple times.....

2012-01-24T13:15:00.000-06:00

Just some personal thoughts

2012-01-24T13:14:00.000-06:00

Let's discuss delegates vs. media Paul 2012

2012-01-23T09:28:00.002-06:00

2012-01-19T19:39:00.001-06:00

Watch "I suppose I am now Ron Paul Crazy...and I'm good with it!" on YouTube

So, I'm diving in...

2012-01-19T11:41:00.001-06:00

So, yea, this will be a political kinda thing. But I think I'll surprise you this time...lol.

So, yes, a rarityhere, I will venture into politics once again this year. In fact, I’ll probablybe very vocal from here on out. For once, in a long time I find passion forsomeone running. You guys need to know that I have always voted Republican.Yes, once the boo’s settle down I can tell you, or try to explain my reasons. Ipersonally believe in the core foundations of that party. They represent for mea good ideal. However, and this is the big point, there are no such things asRepublicans anymore. Not the Republican I would want to promote. My party in noway supports limited government any more. My party wants to control yourboardroom and your bedroom now. My party has caused and functioned on massivedebit for years in the name of national defense. That is not the ideals of theparty. I believe that this is why you see the Republican Party coming apart atthe seams. Most conservatives have woken up to the realization that we haveonly one national party. The party of greed. Democrats and Republicans alikerun for themselves and not the people anymore. It’s money, power and special interests.The Republicans no longer shrink government. Since the end of the cold warthere is no “great” enemy to protect us from, so now we go about acting as ifmad men in caves are more dangerous then the Russian’s were for so many years.We invade countries, place governments that we believe to become allies andonce they are no longer worthy we simply demonize them to effect change backtowards our line of thinking. And yet, a majority of my fellows actually STILLbelieve we are terrorized because they don’t like our freedom and our riches.We can no longer be this blind my friends. We are attacked simply on theprinciple of blow back. Period! We are attacked because we invade their countries;we set up puppet governments, we meddle in their lands and their countries. Wewould scream unjust should this be reversed. Attacks upon us have nothing to do with ourway of life or beliefs. It completely has to do with the actions of our owngovernment. The games we play that we have no business in.

I look back tothe last election. I understand now the “awe” so many of my friends felttowards Mr. Obama. I can admit I didn’t have those same feeling then or now. Iknew the man would be a failure from his first speech. That was just mepersonally. But, I have that same compassion for some one this go round. Iremember a friend once told me “I’m not saying he’s going to be good, but I amsaying for once in my life since the 60’s I feel that someone at least isgiving change a chance, someone is speaking out. And if anything I have to votefor that.” Now, I understand this with whom I have aligned myself this time. Ican understand that feeling. Don’t get me wrong, I knew Obama would notdeliver, plain and simple, it’s the reason he didn’t get my vote.

What if I toldyou there was a man running who has been in Congress for over 20 years that hasnever, never voted for a tax increase? What if I told you this same man hasnever, never voted for a Congressional pay raise? What if I told you there wasa man who never..ever..even under Regan, supported or voted for a debit limitincrease? What if I told you this man also has refused to accept his ownCongressional pension when he retires? What if I tell you this man says thatthe troubles we face on national security is simply the blow back from our poorforeign policy? What if I were to tell you this person has a plan to build astronger national defense than we have ever had without spending anymore money,and actually less? Surely you’d think I’m a dreamer…but I’m not.

This year I willvigorously support Ron Paul for the Republican ticket. This year I will even goas far as to vote for him should he run as an independent, despite the fact itwill hand Obama a victory by pulling Republican votes. When I have talked politicsmy life I have always said that voting third party would be the answer. However,I played to the fact that I MUST vote for my party’s nominee simply because Icould not let the other guy win. I haven’t liked or cared much for any of them.I will no longer be enslaved to my party’s right wing. Now, this may take many,many years, but I promise you, Ron Paul is the new face of the Republican Partywhich they need so badly. He and more like him are starting to say it’s fucked,the whole system is fucked and a whore to the John’s of special interests. It’stime to return to constitutional basics. It’s time to regain the place weshould be. A very limited Federal Government system. Get out of people’s personalbusiness and private business. Stop supporting private industry with publicfunds. STOP the insanity of our own addiction to the notion government mustsupport us at all times, in poverty and tragedy. The notion that if thegovernment isn’t involved in one way or another it simply won’t work. The idealthat we NEED them to do everything in life for us as a country. We functionedquite well for over half our country’s existence without this bureaucracy ofcrap we have now. You do know the lower forms of government, communities,townships, and states can handle this more adequately than Washington. For instance our needs here in Texas are not the same needs as those in New York. The state itself can better handle their ownissues better than a vast system trying to handle them all.

Paul’s issue on foreignpolicy seems to hurt him more than anything with Republicans. After reading afew facts, ok, a lot of facts in the past weeks, I don’t get this. He in no wayis anti-military. He is however of the belief the military is for nationalprotection not foreign policy control. As he clearly stated, building a billiondollar embassy in

Iraq

is defense spending in the eyes of those inpower now. Why not spend that money and build three bases here for troops?There is a definite difference in military spending and defense spending thatmost don’t get. The defense complex is to blame here. There is no reason tohave troops stationed in 45 countries. There is no common sense for this. Theyare simply being used to dictate foreign policy by force. Why worry about

Iran

? I have to agree with him here. We spentdecades with the Russians having missiles pointed at us for years and never hadto actually fight. Even if they gain the bomb they are no where near the capabilityof a long range missile that can reach the

USA

. We must worry because it would affect the Middle East? Our oil? Possibly, except we forget thatthere is a nation in that area that is QUITE capable of defending themselvesand do not need the

USA

handling this issue. Israel, in fact, isheld back by us per foreign policy.

I won’t lieabout the fact that my main reason for supporting Paul is quite simply…Integrity.Here is a man that has proven, through all his years as a Congressman that hevotes on his principals. He does not vote the party line, he does not vote perspecial interests money. This man, unlike any other candidate, has PROVEN histrue convictions. His voting record has never waivers from his principals perparty, economic times, or wars. For once in my life, I see someone who honestlyis running on hope and change for everyday Americans…period. Not to change thesystem, but to put it back to where it was intended to be. I can believe himwhen he says what he believes. I can believe he will vote just as he promises.Why? Because he has his entire life in the political system. See, he has whatno other in this race has, proof he doesn’t waiver. So, worse to worse at leastI feel towards him he honestly has the county’s best interests at heart andnothing more. No party, no special interests.

So, theestablishment calls him loony. I call it them being scared shitless thatsomeone is gaining national exposure and could possibly pose a threat of a winagainst the same as usual. That’s why he is viewed loony. By far he’s the onlyman with any ounce of sense up there. And so I say, I will be loony. Because obviously,proven, thinking “in” the box is how we have landed here in our history. It’snot just an Obama thing, it’s not just a Republican or Democrat thing….it is afailure at every point in Government Issue. So, call me loony. Call me crazy.Because, yes I am joining the crazy train as of yesterday. I will support Paul.I will get his message across as best as I can. Because at this point inpolitical history, even if he never wins, the IDEAS are being planted. He hasthe youth vote nailed in, and they have embraced the principles, and I thinkeventually, they will shift towards them. He has the middle class nailed down,he has awoken the sleepy don’t care people in this country to fight to regainout government. Because for once, we see just how close to reality someone istaking it. And so I will support at least that vision until someone gains it.

And that’s thatfuckers! LOL.

My Response?

2012-01-05T10:58:00.000-06:00

Dear Friends, this my rant/response to an article. PLEASE note this is a political blog, so just move on if'in you can't conduct yourself in a rational manner....

So, a friendposted this article. Personally, I was tickled to read it. In all seriousnessthis man is surely asking for a defeat. I don’t think the American public isfoolish enough to fall for reverse psychology. Here’s the full article:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/obama-openly-asks-nation-why-on-earth-he-would-wan,26933/?mobile=true

"I'm dead serious," the president continued, saying thatany reasonable person would have walked away the moment the Senate minorityleader announced his main priority—above creating jobs and improving Americanhealth care—was to make Obama a one-term president. "I'm asking if anybodyout there can come up with even one reason why I'd want to endure thisunmitigated shit show for another minute, let alone through 2016. What's in itfor me, exactly? Can anyone answer that? Anyone at all?"

After a long silence duringwhich crowd members mostly just shuffled their feet and stared at the ground,Obama said, "Yeah, that's what I thought."

Oh Mr. Obama,

Where, where doI start here?

One main reasonis you, yourself have lead to such a political divide. That’s not to say bothsides are to blame. As an Independent I can clearly write this to theRepublicans as well. But, in recent history you have been the most arrogantPresident I can remember. You have all out said on many occasions, on manyimportant legislative issues that it’s your way. Period. Not a very conduciveattitude for setting the stage for compromise. Even at times, going as far tosay that you know the American people do not agree with you ( the healthcarebill), but you KNOW you are right, and you will shove this bill (Obamacare)through.

Secondly, makingthese very statements show your lack of leadership. You, Sir, are not the firstPresident to work with a divided Congress. Hell, even Clinton worked with a Republican majority. I’lladmit it is not easy, but all others have seemed to have at least accomplishedsomething. This very speech shows yourlack of backbone. Take charge. I guess you missed that class on how to getthings through a divided Congress. Oh wait, that’s probably because you wereelected with no experience in running anything. Not to mention a politicallightweight. You didn’t even serve a complete term in the Senate. Take lessonsfrom you preceding fellows. Work from the middle not the fringes. You aregoverning a center right country no matter how much that bothers you. Thereforegoverning strictly left will end in this mess, just as it did for others thatdid it too far from the right.

Times like thisone must wrestle with the idea that we all know Washington needs change, yetrealizing these past four years that there is something to be said aboutsomeone knowing how to work Washington as well. Clearly, you lacked this. Grandillusions of grandeur and change are all well and good but pointless if youcan’t work the system to obtain them.

So would anordinary person take this job without being insane? Probably. Would it beinsane for you personally to continue? Absolutely. You have much as admittedhere you can’t find a reason to. The key is I as an ordinary citizen would dojust as poorly. I wouldn’t know how to work the system to obtain things. You,Sir, lack the same knowledge. So, I say, NO, there is no reason for you tostay. Even if the detests for the Republicans run high, move over and letanother Democrat lead that has the experience to do so.

Sincerely,

P.S. Worstpolitical move ever, just sayin’

Funny Friday

2011-12-16T11:28:00.000-06:00

FUNNY FRIDAY FUCLERS!!!!

So, for music,why not some good old gay Tranny music from Mr….er Ms. RuPaul.

Create a playlist atMixPod.com

Heeeeeeere we gobitches, now that we got some fierce music going…

Alrightfolks..it’s all Tater this week as far as submissions.

Walmart

NO way you willconvince me this is really Texas..lol.

NOW, this isprolly appropriate dress for Austin, TX..lol

WOOOOW

You know…I’m noteven sure if this is a man or a Woman?

Yea..soooooomany inappropriate responses here…I just don’t know.

Packin’

A nun is sitting on a train opposite a Muslim man who iseating from a bag of shrimp.

Every time he eats one, he spits the head at her and shethrows it out the window.

Eventually she gets angry and pulls the emergency cord.

The Muslim looks at her and says "You'll get fined $250for doing that you infidel slut."

She laughs and says "When I cry "rape" and theysmell your fingers you'll get 10 years, you towel-headed camel-fucker."

Two Coffees in Heaven!

Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, Barrack Obama meets a man with a beard. "Are you Mohammed?" he asks. "No my son, I am St.Peter. Mohammed is higher up." Peter then points to a ladder thatrises into the clouds.

Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than St. Peter, Obama climbs theladder in great strides, climbs up through the clouds and comes into a roomwhere he meets another bearded man. He asks again, "Are youMohammed?"
"Whyno," he answers, "I am Moses. Mohammed is higher still."

Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy he climbs the ladder yet again, hediscovers a larger room where he meets an angelic looking man with a beard. Full of hope, he asks again, "Are you Mohammed?"
"No,I am Jesus, the Christ. You will find Mohammed higher up."

Mohammed higher than Jesus! Man, oh man! Obama can hardly containhis delight and climbs and climbs ever higher. Once again, he reaches aneven larger room where he meets this truly magnificent looking man with asilver white beard and once again repeats his question. "Are youMohammed?" he gasps, as he is by now totally out of breath from allhis climbing.
"No,my son, I am Almighty God, the Alpha and the Omega, but you look exhausted. Would you like a cup of coffee?"

Obama says, "yes please!"
As Godlooks behind him, he claps his hands and yells out: "Hey, Mohammed,two coffees!"

Alright fuckers,have a kick ass weekend!!!!

Save the world…onebj at a time…..

Blogophilia 41.4

2011-12-07T10:52:00.001-06:00

Blogophilia 41.4 Topic:"Here We Go Again"

Bonus Points:

(Hard, 2pts): quote Adam Smith (the father ofEconomics)

(Easy, 1pt): use a word or phrase for a TVshow without actually naming the show

Final date to post BLOG: December 13th, 2011 GMT (TUESDAY) midnight

Final date to post ALL GUESSES: December 11th, 2011 GMT (SUNDAY) midnight**

**if you are having trouble converting GMT toyour local time, midnight GMT is 7pm Eastern or 4pm Pacific time (the date isthe previous day)

Create a playlist atMixPod.com

Here We GoAgain

Masses in thestreets

Hippies andfreaks

Versus Geeks

Work harder

Get a job

Fucking slobs

A man as smartas me sees

“The real tragedy of the pooris the poverty of their aspirations.”

What youtalking bout Willis?

Work harder

Dream bigger

Surely, you’llgo farther

Easy to speak

From a geek

Who sits high

On easy Street

Sicknessconsumes

Healthdeclines

No help forthe blind

Work harder

Dream bigger

The man alwaysgets a hand

From Uncle Sam

The Unloved

2011-12-06T10:01:00.001-06:00

Create a playlist atMixPod.com

I am but a man

I hold no power

I don’t wish tobe the savior of the broken

Battered

Bruised

My only gift isthat of

Stronger

The ability tonot

Broken

Torn Down

Although I jokeof my sickness of society

I know thereality far too well

I have lived

Chained

Broken

Chastised

These are not inthe thoughts of a “good” way either

To live outright

To disgust onpurpose

Can be enjoyable

The party doesend you know

Everyoneeventually is alone

With thoughts

With mirrors

But,

What of thosewho see the same

In the mirror

Disgust

Unworthiness

What of those

Who can’t riseabove

What of thosewho can’t rebuild

What of thosewho can’t

Ignore

Pretend

Escape

Pain

My soul carriesmuch sorrow

For them

For you

For mankind

Who can breaksomeone so fragile

Just becausethey can

Who can drivesomeone to feel

Such unworth

Simply becauseyou read

The best seller

Simply becauseyou’re holier than thou

Because you’rethe righteous

How can you denya

Son

Daughter

Brother

Sister

Child

Overirrationality

How can you beso

Unkind

Un-whatever youstand for

Un-human

Sometimes

I just want tohug the masses

The meek

The trueinheritors of the earth

Sometimes

I want to love

The Un-loved

Funny Friday!!!

2011-12-02T11:55:00.001-06:00

HAPPY FRIDAY FUCKERS!!!!

Create a playlist at MixPod.com

So, since thissong has been stuck in my head for weeks…Object of My Desire by Starpoint isthe retro tune this week.

It’s been awhile and I gotz a shit-ton of stuff, so let’s roll bitchezz!

First up, oneform Mz. Debra V!!

The rest arefrom Tater…cause he rocks ;)

Things learnedin the south:

A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of theroad.

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in theSouth.

There are 10,000 types of spiders.All 10,000 of them live inthe South, plus a couple no one has seen before.

If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

Jaw-P? means Did y'all go to the bathroom?

Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinkingit when you're two. Folks in the south do like a little tea with their sugar.

Backards and forards means I know everything about you.

You dont have to wear a watch, because it don't matter whattime it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

You dont PUSH buttons, you MASH em.

You measure distance in minutes.

You switch from heat to A/C multiple times in the same day.

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit,vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.

You only own six spices: salt, pepper, Dale Sauce, Tabasco , Creole Seasoning, andketchup.

The local papers cover national and international news on onepage, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, motor sports, andgossip.

Many think that the first day of deer season is a nationalholiday.

You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit a bit warm.

You know what a hissy fit is.

Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite pastime known as goinWal-Martin' or off to Wally World.

You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as goodchicken stew weather. (Personally, I say Gumbo, Tater)

Feeling Under Par...

A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a storyand listened to her prayers which ended by saying: "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, Godbless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa."

The father asked, 'Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?

The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thingto do."

The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this: "God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-byeGrandma."

The next day the grandmother died.

"Holy smokes" thought the father, "this kid is in contact withthe other side."

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say:

"God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy."

He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of theday he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally, midnight arrived, he breathed a sighof relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you work so late.. What'sthe matter?"

He said "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day ofmy
life."

She said, "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happenedto me. This morning my golf partner dropped dead in the middle of mylesson!"
----------------

Irony:

Two bowling teams, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-Decker bus for a weekend
trip to Louisiana.
TheBrunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, and
the Blondeteam rode on the top level.

The Brunette team down below really whooped it up,
having agreat time, when one of them realized she
hadn'theard anything from the Blondes upstairs. She
decided togo up and investigate..

When the Brunette reached the top, she found all the
Blondes infear, staring straight ahead at the road,
clutchingthe seats in front of them with white knuckles..
Thebrunette asked, 'What the heck's going on up here?
We'rehaving a great time downstairs!'

One of the Blondes looked up at her, swallowed hard
andwhispered...

'YEAH, BUTYOU'VE GOT A DRIVER!

You have to love Britishhumour!

Theseare classified ads,
which were actually placed in a

U.K.

newspaper:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old
Hateful little bastard..
Bites!

FREE PUPPIES.
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.

FREE PUPPIES.
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer Â£100.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE.
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.

****And the WINNER is... ****

FOR SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, Â£200 or best offer.
No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

Statement of the Century

Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly.

"Ifwomen are so bloody perfect at multitasking,
how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"

Subject: Income Tax ReturnCreativity

The IRS sentmy Tax Return back! AGAIN!!!
I guess it was because of my response to the question : "List alldependents?"
I replied :

"12 million illegal immigrants;
"3 million crack heads;
"42 million unemployable people on food stamps,
"2 million people in over 243 prisons;
"Half of Mexico ; and
"535 fools in the U.S. House and Senate.”

Apparently, this was NOT an acceptable answer.

LOL….ok I lol’d!

Italian Pregnancy

An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancykit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, 'Who was the pig that did this toyou? I want to know!'

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferraristops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hairand impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of a Ferrari and enters thehouse.

He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tellsthem: 'Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem.

I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge.I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.

Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, 2 retailstores, a townhouse, a beach-front villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account.

If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a$4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factoryand $2,000,000 each.

However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?'

At this point, the father, who had remained silent holding a shot gun, places ahand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him ....................

'You gonna try again.'

Alright fucker’s…I’m out!!Have a kick ass weekend…no need to thank ME…YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO….

Coffee talk

2011-12-01T13:41:00.001-06:00

Does anyone remember this? I started it awhile back. Mostly a little experiment in my own mind. I promised to continueif you guys liked it. And, in true “me” fashion never got back to it. So, hereit is again…with a little more added. I will continue it even more if you stilllike. It is quite long because I have the full version here. But, from here outI will break it up for easier blog reading.

Alright, so this is new to me. I have justhad flashes of conversations that intrigue me. On a deep level yet so casual…Imiss having people to have those with. This is rather laid back and probablydull. Who knows? Call it coffee shop chronicles, if anyone likes, I’llcontinue it. Thanks for the pointers from you guys who read the preview.

“So”, I say to him, almost flirting, “No,no, please continue..I love the fact that I disgust you. It makes me hard!”

She chuckles from the corner as she spreads he legs a little wider. She removesa 120 from the silver cigarette case she carries in her purse. I watch herlight it, and slowly drag the drug into her lungs. Damn, those red lips and thetied back blonde hair drive me insane. Sigh, I suppose I love a woman whosmokes. She gives off a classy smoking face like Bette Davis or Greta Garbo,not the trailer trash look. I suppose if you if die of lung cancer you might aswell do it classy.

”Humm,” I moan as I sit back and sip my coffee to watch him continue.Ignorance, denial...umm, whatever you wanna call it always was a turn on.

”It's not like I'm a hate monger,” he continued. I like how one side of hismouth curls up when he speaks. It’s a cute deformity I wish I possessed. Yet,just another weakness for me.

He goes on,”I just suppose I have my morals and hold fast to them. It's notthat I don't want everything fair either, but does my opinion not matter? Ifeel like I'm choking on an agenda with such issues.”

Struggling to hold down my coffee, I chuckle. “Oh no dear, no offense.” What Ialways want to say comes up...well, just not quite right. “Besides, I dobelieve the very fringe extremes of the agenda pushers are drag queens, andwell, who doesn’t love a good drag queen? I mean as opposed to a drunkenredneck with a boot and kicking the shit out of a faggot. So, whose fringeextremes are worse? I’d much rather bruise your poor morality than your verysoul or body any day. In fact, I’d lust over it.”

A slight clearing of her throat, she only moves back in her seat...again legswider. She puts out her smoke and stares blankly for a moment.

Hum, she’s indifferent. I like that. Maybe just aroused?

”Look,” she says with a slight rasp in her voice, making my cock twitch. Whoknows? Maybe it's him.

”All I'm sayin boys is this....what really is the difference? It's only yoursense of morality throwing both of you fucktards for a loop. If the lights areoff and your cock is getting sucked...does your brain just know it's a guy andtherefore not get hard. Don't sell me that shit. I ain’t buying. If we threewere to be blindfolded and have oral preformed on each one of us, we’d gladlyflood the throat of the giver without a thought of sexuality. It's all fluidbaby..let it flow.”

More pause, more silence. Awesome.

And she exasperates a heavy sigh andsays..”damn, I’m hungry now.”

I just prefer to take it all in. I am reservedto move on. They both would look nice chained to my bed…just a fleeting thoughtas I look around the coffee shop.

“I just don’t get the fascination you havewith it?” He questions me.

Sigh, my my. It’s a good thing people can’tread my sick mind. It’s cute he’s still trying to play the “common-sense,I’ve-evolved-into-a-human-who-treasures-sex-only-with-love” gleam in his eye.

I prefer to see him how he is. I seeeveryone in that light, actually. I know society views me as disgusting…even asexual deviant? I’m rather proud of it. Turnabout folks…turnabout. I viewsociety as the sickness. “If it feels good, do it. What’s wrong with that?”Shit, I said that out loud.

“Absolutely nothing!” she quips out from hercorner. “Although I think we might need something a little stronger than coffeeto continue this discussion” as she pulls her skirt up a little higher,exposing the bright silver flask hidden in the garter belt of her stockings.She pours a bit in her coffee as well as mine and his. She’s pretty generouswith the vodka…gotta love a woman for that if nothing else.

Times like this I just want total immersion.I want to take the moment, the conversation and just wrap myself in it. It’squite possibly just the feeling of being able to feel others on a level sodeep. Deeper than the whole of the conversation.

It’s total silence for a bit while we sipaway the thoughts. The vodka mixed with the warmth of coffee sliding down mythroat, it coats my chest in warmth, quite possibly warming my soul as well asmy thoughts. It is indeed a rarity to find such friends, such conversations,such..well immersion.

“You surely must have something to hide andor protect,” he spoke up. “You like to hide behind words. You like to thinkyou’re being quite blunt when actually you only hide behind cryptic poetry. Whodoes that? You obviously have some shame because, to me, you are far frombringing it like you claim to.”

“Is that a challenge? Please tell me it’sso! I’ll foam at the mouth soon.”

“No”

“Heh, it’s all cryptic for the ones likeyou. You can’t handle true bluntness. You guys cry for pure unedited thoughtthen cry fowl or disgust once it’s shoved under your nose. Can’t you just smellyour own shit? It’s not pleasant, for anyone, me included. Besides, what makesyou think I want to be the matriarch of the wicked? Of the perverse? I think itis all really just me, working to accept me.”

Me accepting me?? Good Gods doesn’t thatjust make me wanna puke. If I truly care less of the opinions of others…thenwhy should I even pretend that I care if I’m ok with it all?

He smirks at me, “So you are guarded? You’reno better than the whole of humanity you curse daily in your blogs. At somepoint you hit your own wall. There is a line that entices you, but you’reunwilling to cross, no?”

Big gulp of vodka mocha. “You know I onlyallow this cat and mouse game to continue because I find you incredibly sexyand want to fuck your brains out, right?”

She can’t stay quiet for long, lightinganother cigarette….”I need my brains fucked out. It’s been too long.”

He’s emboldened now. I can smell it, senseit.

“Could you really do it?” he smirks, workingthose bright baby blues to his best ability.

“I don’t think you could handle it Mr.Conservative.”

“So, what, do you think because of my viewsI couldn’t fuck you like a dog in heat?” he sharply replies.

Bang bang goes his walls. I think I’mgetting harder than I have ever been.

She surely knew how to push the discussionthis way. Limits become so fuzzy for younger guys once their cocks are hard.She is truly an art in motion. She knows how to work the conversation to heradvantage; so much so that the outcome becomes all about her. I love that aboutwomen. If more of them were to be more open with the power they own in sexualitythey could surely enjoy being the species thinking with their clits rather thantheir brains. I think they’d enjoy it. For sure she does.

I shudder as she draws her fingernail undermy chin and up my cheek stopping my train of thought. Damn, I hate when I getlost in my head.

“You know my dear, at times I’d love to justcurl up and sleep inside your deliciously wicked mind. Surely what you trulysee and crave deep in there…well, it must surely transcend into thephysicality’s of sex?”

“Again?” he giggles, “See…who the fuck doesthat shit? Talks that way?”

“Only the queerest of the queer, my friend”she says casually with a smirk.

“Exactly, and I am in no way queer!” hethrashes back quickly.

“Right, as long as you’re on top, no?” Isnap back.

I’ve got him on that one. Straight boys andtheir silly ways of diminishing their roles in homophobic thought make melaugh. It only drives me harder to pursue my prey. After all, when one is ahunter of the flesh…prey is always the best noun. Besides, what makes betterprey than close friends? Hummm, I revel in that thought for a few seconds. It’sso much easier that way…the comfort…the conversation…the way it all just slipsever so quietly into something more than…..conversation. And, in the end, well,there’s always alcohol to blame, right? We always have to have one string tohang our guilt upon once the sins of flesh leave us and we return to thenormalcy of the world. I find it fascinating that we must find penitence forsomething so natural. Sigh, I digress. There are more pressing matters athand…like my hard cock.

So, I say to her, returning back to hersubject, “My mind is very wicked to a point of beauty only from afar sweetie. Idoubt you could actually handle sleeping in it. I doubt you could ever let goof that much control.”

In all reality, I prefer it that way. Strongwomen are so much more fun to break once chained to my bedposts. Weak-mindedwomen could never play the role of a submissive. Never let the outwardappearance of the BDSM culture fool you. Fragile women would be of no usethere. Because the very essences of letting your power go…is strength.

“You thinkbecause I’m a woman who owns a pair of brass balls that I can’t succumb to thewants of a man…..freely….totally?” She laughs that wicked laugh. It makes meshudder.

I like watchingher in this game of role domination. You see, that’s really what this wholeconversation is leading to. Who gains the upper hand….who gains the, well,bottom? She’s a smart one. I like how she hints at being my bitch yet lettingme she can still have total control. I suppose in a way the sub does bear somecontrol…

He won’t besilent much longer. I can just see the wheels turning in his head. I’m not sure if he’s made that jump fromdisgust to thinking with his cock. Not that I worry. It’ll happen….it alwayshappens. Right now he’s at the crossroads. His simple compulsion to be human isnagging at him, eating away at that silly line his morality tells him isun-natural to cross. Nature vs. Nurture..right here folks, before your veryeyes. Nature always wins, sigh, we’d be far better off when we realize that.

Blogophilia 40.4

2011-11-30T09:22:00.001-06:00

Blogophilia 40.4 Topic: "Major Damage"

Bonus Points:

(Hard, 2pts): include asecret college rule

(Easy, 1pt): incorporateforeign sunsets

Final date to post BLOG: December 6th, 2011 GMT(TUESDAY) midnight

Final date to post ALLGUESSES: December 4th, 2011 GMT (SUNDAY) midnight**

Tags in Green

Create a playlist at MixPod.com

You puzzle me

I just don’t getthe jist

Is there atwist?

For this one shouldI bang my head?

Major Damage

Oh this I canwork with

I’ve got iteating at my heart

Day by day

Destroying myvery soul

I can sing youmurderous lines

All the day long

Or tales of sexon a swing

Or in a sling?

But then you goand want

Flowery sunsetsin a land far away

Maybe

More like one

Over Bangkok

“But the Queens we use would not excite you”

A collegesecret you seek

Heh

I’m afraid thatmurderous rampage

Is rather bleak

Nor a prisoncell I do not seek

The filterbetween my brain and mouth

Seems to havegone awry

So again,

I just don’t getthe jist

The twist

Methinks,

You should askcarefully

With whom you seek

To share suchthings

Just...

2011-11-29T10:43:00.001-06:00

Create a playlist at MixPod.com

I’d love to take you on awonderful ride through my beautiful mind.

Alas, beauty is only in the eyeof the beholder

Seems most see disgust

Is it really so sad to the ‘normal’among me that I enjoy the pain?

There is always light and dark

Some thrive on their light

Sunny, smiling faces, hope,enlightenment

Barf

You see me embracing shame,disgust, the very depths of being human,

Flesh

Animalistic desires

And it’s horrible

Surely insane

Psychopathic even

As always, it only feeds mydesire to bring to light the dark places in us all

We all have dirty thoughts

We all ‘suppress’ urges forsocieties sake.

But…

When you’re all alone

Or with that whore from the bar

Of masturbating quietly in yourbathroom

You feed it

The lovely angelic poets gainnotice

Making you ‘feel’ good

Oh, I hold no ill will, I canembrace the

Rare

Goodness of mankind

But here’s the catch…..

It’s too

Easy

It’s easy for you all to face thebeauty of life

It takes a far stronger

Mankind

To see their evil as well

Or dare I say

Come to terms with

Even

Enjoy it!

GASSSSP!

Basking in the sun on a beautifulday can be amazing

Doing the same during athunderstorm can be just as satisfying

Move me

2011-11-18T10:14:00.001-06:00

Create a playlist at MixPod.com

Write for me

My sweet angel

Angel of death

Angel of life

Wrap your words round my shoulder

Like a warm coat

I’d snuggle with words

Far more

Than a book

I live

Devoid

Of most emotions

In and out

Daily

Monthly

A Lifetime

But, here in the dark

Your words tear me apart

Wiping away

My flesh and bone

My raw center exposed

Feeling every nerve

The gig is up

The game is gone

I’m

exposed

It’s a hunger

Rarely quenched

In modern day

Sing Louder

Bang harder

Cry louder

I’d give every ounce of me

My life

My soul

To just feel moved

Passion

Sweet

Raw

Passion

Make it bleed from your pens

Feed my sins

My hopes

My very Soul

Just move me

Oh how I so long

To be

Moved

Just………

By your words

Sometimes.....There's light

2011-11-17T14:54:00.001-06:00

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Sometimes…….

I am in awe of greatness.

I am in awe of the beautyof…well, life.

As life can consume my soul, Ifeel so very very warm when I get these moments to sit back, and just “be”

I love the darkness in me a lot.I embrace it, I don’t hide it…hell, I even lust after it at times.

But, man, when the beauty creepsin. Sigh.

I am reminded

How every little connection

Every piece

Every “hello”

Even, a slight touch on theshoulder

Has its place in the universe.

I remember little pieces that toeven those who applied them, have no clue how profound they were. How theychanged my life. How they made me feel better. Complete strangers.

I think of the shell I crawledout of into feeling my own. I remember those kind words said to me…to let itall go. To not censor anything I fell or write for worries of others. Yes, Iremember this soul. I think of how she suffered in the end. I remember being soangry at the powers that be. Losing someone who touched me, so deep. Yet, neverhave been in the same room with this one. Never to have touched her hand. Neverto have felt her in my presence. Yet, meaning so much.

I stand back at moments like thisand think, did she know? Did she know how profound she had been on something soimportant? And to that, life I say. Whatever lies after….then I think we’llknow. Then we will know how one word, may have altered another’s soul. And in the end..maybe that’s the big game.

Another, after the loss of mybrother, suggested a book for me. I’m sure just to soothe my loss and mymis-understanding of life and death at the time. That person will never knoweither, the feeling this book drew from me. The lights it turned on for me.They are probably reading this and don’t even remember themselves.

Sometimes, I feel lacking. I can’tsay that I have ever done this for anyone. But, maybe that’s the greatness ofit…all. None of know which moment of time mattered SO to another. I personallystrive somewhere in my lost soul to make a point of remembering this feeling.The feeling of how one word can change the course of another.

I have met people in a waitingroom before. Strangers. Who went out of their way to put their arms around mywife and pray for her. Just for her. Nothing crazy, not trying to force abelief. Just…concern. I’ll never seethis person again, nor will I ever know her name. But, damn, the love of such arandom act will never leave my memory, tho she’ll never know that.

My daughter, after recoveringfrom her bout with drugs, has grown…spiritually. I am so very proud of her. Andwith that, she/we have started a group on our side of Houston for kids that want recovery. This is a very importantmission to me. Because I see so much hurt and anger….sadness….loss….but I seeso much “re-birth” of souls. If you have never seen this…it is truly amazing.And, so I can be logical and say I’ll be lucky if three of twenty becomeenlightened. But, that one….maybe just that one. Makes my karmic contributionto the universe perfect to me. Makes me relevant in a mad world.

So, personally this is why I lovethis song so much. It embodies this whole rant/ramble I write.

So many of you nameless peopleonly catch pieces of me. You catch the erotic or the funny one. But, a selectfew of you…. Get all of me. A few of you know my soul.

I love hard

I care more

I cry more

For others than myself.

I know, it’s a talent I keephidden deep inside of me. Rough exteriors help you through life, though. Butwhen I do get to share it, or feel another share it. It’s all the morewonderful and special to me.

So, whatever be anyone’s opinion,religion, whatever. It’s just all significant. It’s all relative. Every singlemove. And so, this is why I don’t sour myself deep enough in the belief thatmankind is inherently evil. Because no matter your belief….there is always ablessing. Something is always sent. And it might be so small it goesun-noticed, but sent none the less.

So, be it Thanksgiving time, I amthankful for the strangers. I am thankful for love. I am thankful for thegreatness of it all.

“I look at you and start tocry…..What you did was…..You saved my life…..I won’t forget it.”

~And for those that save mylife…daily~

Insanity

2011-11-09T11:26:00.002-06:00

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Going insane

Insane in the brain

Heh

If only it werea song lyric

Surrounded bymadness

Surrounded byidiots

My muse is justaway they say

I’d hedge mybets

My brain isrotting in decay

Someone feed me

Feed me commonsense

Feed me SOMEONE

With half abrain

Even if they toobe

Insane

Does no oneenjoy

Brainstimulation anymore

Let’s drain thewine

Empty the coffeepots

Over thoughts

Feed me

Awe me with intelligence

Bring my brainto orgasm

Simply withwords

Sheep for slaughteris the new

Fun?

Nothing to see here....just bitching....move along

2011-11-08T11:48:00.002-06:00

I feel likebitching.

Just some randomthoughts as of late….

Wall Street protesters…Geta fucking job! As much as you may hate what Herman Cain says..it’s true. If youare not successful in life financially you have no one to blame but yourself. Didyou go to school? Get a degree? Are you willing to work hard at McDonald’s oras a trash man? Slowly moving up the ladder of said profession to gain moresalaries and higher positions with les work? Prolly not…beneath you, right? Youdo know most of the ‘rich’ are people that barely made it out of high school?Who worked their asses off for pennies and started their own companies andworked for their wealth?

Sorry, but I amabout to puke all over my screen if I have to read anymore about the poor andthe evil US companies keep you down. I fucking work hard for my money, andpersonally refuse handouts if given to me as far as government programs. I livepaycheck to paycheck, sometimes deciding between a bill or medicine. Man upbitchez! I can freely admit I don’t live a grand life strictly by my lifechoices. I dropped out of college. I got married and had kids at 20. I fuckedup my credit score by being irresponsible. BUT, through two kidney transplants andhip replacements….I have busted my ass…worked hard…and guess what…I have a roofover my head, food in my stomach and electricity.

Didn’t any ofyour momma’s ever tell you life isn’t fucking fair???? There will always bepeople better than you and people worse than you. There are always winners andlosers at life. This isn’t some pussy baseball game where everyone wins and wedon’t keep score.

Pssst…wanna knowa secret? No one owes you a fucking thing in life. Just thought I’d throw thatout there.

Whew! That feltgood. I am sure many of you will loathe most of what I said, but I make noapologies. They are simply my opinions.

What else can webitch about?

RepublicanPresidential candidates….you ALL suck. But, then so does the currentadministration. I will, as always, vote for Ron Paul in the primary. Then beleft with the same old same old in the general. Nothing. And just as an addedpissy comment…I can’t even listen to that bat shit crazy woman Bachmann.Srsly???

Sigh, I don’tknow….maybe I’m just surrounded by idiots. Can someone just stimulate my brainwith common sense???? I don’t care if I don’t agree with you. It actually makesme more interested in your point of view and how you come to it and why you seeit that way. But, really, if all you can do is complain about your life andthrow name calling around you just infuriate me. Make a stand…but tell me why? Tellme, in an educated way, why it is you feel how you do.

Ahem…*regainscomposure*

Now where isthat vodka and orgy room?

Satisfaction ~ADULT Erotica~

2011-11-07T11:02:00.000-06:00

Welcome all…..

You know therules

Here are thewarnings

Erotic,Naughty, Filthy, and Flesh filled words ahead. Weak stomachs and frigid folks,leave now.

Create a playlist atMixPod.com

What penance canI serve?

To break thisshame

Take the chains

Shackle me in

Caning, ropes,crops

And the so

Very pretty

Cat o nine tails

I need a heavyhand

To control thesedesires

Demons

Monsters

Urges

thatconsume me

That lead meastray

In back alleyand bathroom blowjobs

Craving fleshand

Satisfaction

Orgasm

You’d thinkafter a Whore or four

It would feedthis beast

Gnawing at me sodeep

Raging throughmy cock

What I need isyou

I need a

Master

Mistress

Someone to forceme to pay for such indiscretions

Or so I’m told

By those holdingthe moral compass currently

So teach me

Through a stronghand

Through

Pain

To control thesedemons of mine

Make me

Break me

Whatever ittakes

Just teach me the art of

Satisfaction

Denial

Your call.

TXT~Do You Wanna Touch Me?~ ADULT Content

2011-10-27T11:34:00.000-05:00

TXT, fuck yes. I have missed theerotic blogging, much. I know some of you have as well. So, as promised we dida theme this week. “Do you wanna touch me there?” be sure you check the othersout!

As Always....this is an erotic blog...Republicans, Homophobes, Frigid Women, etc..please excuse yourself if it offends.

Ok, been a while, I’m rusty. Let’ssee how this goes shall we?

He pleases her

Which pleases me

I please him

Which pleases her

Everyone cums

Which pleases him

What a very wicked game

I doubt this is the love game

Lady GaGa speaks of

But

‘I wanna take a ride on your discostick’

Shrug

What you gonna do?

‘Girls who are boys

Who like boys to be girls

Who do boys like they’re girls

Who do girls like they’re boys’

Perhaps that’s more appropriate?

But you all know me…

I haven’t found sex I haven’t liked

Yet

‘Girl I’m a freak you shouldn’t saysuch things’

Skin on skin

Dripping wet

Sweat

‘Got it going like a turbo vet?’

Piles of flesh

Being held so tight

The thoughts of lust fill my brain

The senses from last night remain

Entertain

Touch me there

Touch him where?

Oh yes, touch her there

The lust is so grand

So true

When just simple touching will do

So tell me I’m wrong

Call me a freak

Put me on a leash

Tell me I’ll burn in hell

It only makes my cock swell

That brain disease only drives me

More

To want to be

Onmy knees

My goal is simple

Existto please

Photo me

2011-10-24T10:18:00.000-05:00

Create a playlist at MixPod.com

Photoblog! Sure,why not. I am fucking addicted to photos, erotic, meaningful, whatever. So, I’mgonna share a few today, and the next few days. This is an only Blogger event.So, I’ll post a few favorites.

This part is:

My FavoriteMessages:

Because I feelsorry for women that try to rate societies meaning of beauty. There’s somethingto be said for ‘hot’ or whatnot. But, when I tell you you’re beautiful or sexy,it entails so much more. It’s YOU.

Because a woman whocan own her sexuality is a Goddess, not a slut.

Because I feel weall live in a little wonderland, and from time to time, I think we all feelthis emotion.

Because I can loveyou, lust you, but when I adore you….You complete a little missing piece of me.

Because you shouldOWN you, not them.

Because I ‘hate’HATE

Again, because onlyyou own you.

Because all of usare worthy. All of us hold beauty.

because you are!

Because this istrue beauty.

Because there is nobetter way of explaining ‘me’

Because everyoneneeds someone like this

Because you arestronger than ‘them’

Because it’s true

Because there isnothing wrong with you feeling this

Because youshould….in everything you do

Because they arewrong

Because sometimes you just gotta say fuck 'em.

Enjoy the messagesand positivism!

Funny Friday Fuckers!

2011-10-07T10:16:00.000-05:00

You know I loveyou bitchezz right?

FUNNY FRIDAY FUCKERS!!!!

Let’s get itgoing fuckers! This week I thought Shots by LMAO would be the perfect song,riiight? Line ‘em up!

The only personthat sent some in was Tater!

My daughter just walked into the living roomand said, "Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, rent my room out,throw all my clothes out of the window, take my TV, stereo, iPhone, iPod,and my laptop. Please take all of my jewelry to the Salvation Army orCash Converters. Then sell my new car. Take my front door key awayfrom me and throw me out of the house. Then disown me and never talkto me again. And don't forget to write me out of your will and leavemy share to my brother."

Well, she didn't put it quite like that. She actually said ...

"Dad I have decided to work for Obama'sre-election campaign."

Last year I replaced all the windows in my housewith those expensive, double-pane, energy-efficient kind.

Today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He complained thatthe work had been completed a year ago and I still hadn't paid for them.

Hellloooo,............just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I amautomatically stupid. So, I told him just what his fast-talking sales guy toldme last year... that these windows would pay for themselves in a year,,,Helllooooo? It's been a year, so they're paid for, I told him.. There was onlysilence at the other end of the line, so I finally hung up.

He never called back. I bet he felt like an idiot.

Reasons youshould not drink with friends that have cameras.

I see we sharethe same friends….lol

Recessionbeater. Wife says to husband, “If you start riding that new bicycle I boughtfor you to work, we can get rid of the second car.” He replies, “If youtake it up the ass and let me cum on your face, we can get rid of the nanny!”

Aguy gets a call from the police telling him that his house was robbed. Theoffenders had also consumed all of his beer and had raped his wife. A moment ofsilence passes and the guy says, “I can't believe they fucked my wife afteronly five cans!”

Gotthis text from my brother recently. It read: “Can I stay at your house for awhile? The ol' Lady kicked me out after she caught me measuring my cock. Itjust reaches the back of her sister's throat!”

Isaw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money.Last night I fucked a Girl called Penny.. spooky or what?

Themisses asked me, “When you're on a boys only trip away, do you think aboutme?” Apparently, “Only to stop myself coming too quickly” wasn't theright answer.

Mywife is pissed off with me again. I crept into the bedroom last night andswapped her tampon for a party popper. No sense of humor.

To: JohnHinckley
From: Mrs. Nancy Reagan

My family and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we arewith the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our country's spiritof understanding and forgiveness, we want you to know that we bear no grudgeagainst you for shooting President Reagan.

We are fully aware that mental stress and pain could have driven you to such anact of desperation.

We're confident that youwill soon make a complete recovery and return to your family to join the worldagain as a healthy and productive man.

Best wishes,
Nancy Reagan & Family

P.S. While you have been incarcerated, Barack Obama has been banging JodieFoster like a screen door in a tornado.

You might want to lookinto that.

A Wish To Live Forever …

I met a fairy today that said she would grant me one wish.

"I want to live forever," I said.

"Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wisheslike that."

"Fine," I said, "then I want to die after Congress gets theirheads out of their asses."

"You crafty bastard," said the fairy.

How bout some WalMartfolks? Yea. I knew you’d like it…

Ok, so maybe this one aintso bad…

There seems to be a lot ofass issues at this WalMart

Oh HELLZ NO!

You have to wonder themental stability of someone who owns mirrors yet leaves home like this?

Just….WOW

Noooooo comment

Now this is sexy..heh

He did, INDEED, earnit..lmao

HAHAHA This is my favoritethis week!

That’s it folks! Have akick ass weekend!

Please tip your servers…….withblowjobs!

Blogophilia 32.4

2011-10-05T11:51:00.000-05:00

Create a playlist at MixPod.com

Been a while,call it inspiration, or whatever, but I’m here!

Blogophilia 32.4 Topic: "The Choice of aGeneration"

Bonus Points:

(Hard, 2pts): incorporate a quote from actress MaeWest

(Easy, 1pt): mention two types of poker hands (asin Flush, Straight, etc.)

Final date to post BLOG: October 11th, 2011 GMT (TUESDAY) midnight

Final date to post ALL GUESSES: October 9th, 2011 GMT (SUNDAY) midnight**

Tags in Green

I may not beclassy

Possibly moresassy

I always dependon the awe

The shock

The disgust

But, my truemotives never known

Round here

I’ll give you ahint

I’ll give you apeep

‘Those who are easily shocked should be shockedmore often. ‘

Blush or flush

Enjoyment ortoilet

The choice ofmy generation?

Inaction

Distraction

Retraction

Smother

Cover

Only be like allthe others

My youngergeneration?

Shock and awe

Balls to thewalls

Scoffs theshocked

But, moreimportant

Below it all

Un-nom

To the norm

And to me,

It spells

Strong

Live long

Live strong

Live for

If only I hadlearned this

Before my lifeturned

To trying to fitthe

Norm

Self Expression AKA Fuck the world

Not a better thing in life

Pieces

2011-10-05T10:48:00.000-05:00

Create a playlist at MixPod.com

Along this path

Step by step

Pieces of my soul

Drop

Drip

Ever so slowly

From the outside

It holds the beauty of a snow globe

Living inside that bubble

Filled with toxins

Not quite the same

The hunger so sweet

The passion so raw

The flesh so

Lovely

Sigh

Don’t feed the monster

I’d say

It can never be tamed

Never satisfied

Never fulfilled

Points of fact

It grows only stronger

More vile

More hungry

More

Monstrous

Uncontrollable

Feed the beast?

Or live with the splitting pain

Of a

Double me?

It’s never an easy line to tow

As consumption grows

The colder the heart knows

Left again

Losing pieces of me

The better half of me

Along the way

Perhaps I’m just blue

Or just insane

For loving

You

What say you?

2011-09-23T09:27:00.002-05:00

Read this link,otherwise you will be totally lost here!

Student-suspended-for-comment-about-gays

So, let’sdiscuss. I have seen much chatter about this this morning. More along the linesof they can’t believe this happened in Texas without him getting a metal or thatreligion rears its ugly head, etc…

I will tell youmy thoughts on this issue, mainly because I have a stake in it either way. As abisexual male I usually stand pretty firm on the gay rights side. However, as aconstitutionalist, I have serious issues with this. It never ceases to amaze mewho those who claim to be so “free-thinking” can become closed minded ifanother does not agree with them.

Every one of ushas the right to feel what we believe. One does have the right to viewhomosexuality as sin. One does have a right to dislike another’s “choice” orway of life I suppose. This has nothing to do with gay rights. In my opinion itwaters down their fight. I will gladly stand with you saying the governmentdoes not have the right to exclude. I will support gay marriage. But, I willNOT, nor will I ever stand with you in a manner that one’s free speech shouldbe punished merely because he/she does not agree with you or your thought. Feelfree to pressure the government relentlessly on the issue. However, you cannotforce said ideas on other free thinking people.

This kid thatwas suspended from school troubles me in a few ways. First off the kid never,not once, said anything disrespectful. He simply stated his belief, to a friendbehind him. Hell, he didn’t even say faggot or that they should burn in hell,etc. He simply said he believed it was wrong…to a friend, not even the class.There is a huge difference between “hate” speech and having an opinion. Thenext issue, why was this even being discussed in a German language class? Seemsquestioning the teacher is more in order here.

I have a verymixed emotion with the gay community anyways. I don’t like the fact that theyeasily discredit those on their side. Such as bisexuals to the point that mostbelieve it is simply a way of hiding one’s true gayness? It can become quite heated.I have had these discussions from both sides. I have always been floored that one so “oppressed”can turn on another and no think nothing wrong of it. Irony, go figure.

My bottom line,the kid should not have been punished. I think the gay movement as a wholeneeds to slow their roll so to speak. People do have the right not to agreewith your choices. NO, they do not have the right to make law on such beliefs,that I will always state, but peoples own personal opinions are just that, andthey are free to have them. Maybe you thin the kid shouldn’t have saidanything. Perhaps, but then the discussion of pro-gay life shouldn’t have beendiscussed, because then that does allow for another to state another view. Andagain, please understand I draw a very hard line on what was already stated;stating an opinion in a respectful manner is not the same as hate speech. Thereis quite a difference between saying gays should be imprisoned or burned orkilled and stating you, on a personal level, feel it’s wrong.

Everyone shouldbe allowed freedom of expression. If you want your freedom to gain equal rightsthen give the same freedom to those that don’t agree.

What say you?

FUNNY FRIDAY FUCKERS!!!!!

2011-09-16T09:03:00.000-05:00

Funny Friday yousay?

Yes, yes,Welcome to the first Funny Friday in recent memory. I know, I know, I haveslipped in a major way on blogging in general. But, I believe I am ready topick up the pen again…and begin.

So, let’srefresh shall we? YOU send me the funnies and I’ll post em! Every week, or asoften as I can. As well, is you have suggestions for the Friday retro song,send those as well.

For tight asses,please remember this is strictly comedy. It’s for fun and laughs leave thedrama at the door. Any jokes you deem inappropriate just skip it. No need forlong commentary. Yes, I post political funnies as well, so, I feel withelection time approaching that I need to state that while I may personally havea preference it is not reflected in Friday blogs. I will simply post what yousend. So, if all you see is Obama bashing, that’s because that’s all that wassent in. I am, as always, happy to post jokes bashing republicans should anyonesend them. The fact I even had to make that last statement is dumb, but someonealways gets upset.

Enough of thatcrap!

Heeeeeeeeeeeerewe go!

Gay discoFriday? Why not?

Create a playlist at MixPod.com

Firstup…..Cassie!

Winning theFuture

I know this issupposed to be the smartest administration ever ,

but if I wererunning a campaign with a fairly unpopular incumbent ,

the last thing I’d do is have areelection slogan with the initials WTF

Next up…Deb!

Nymphomaniac Convention

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glancedup and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.

He soonrealized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would haveit, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip orpleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the AnnualNympho-maniacs of

America

Convention in Boston."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seensitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's yourbusiness role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded." I use information that I havelearned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths aboutsexuality."

"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths arethere?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is thatAfrican-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it isthe Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it ismen of Jewish descent who are the best. I have also discovered that thelover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'msorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this withyou. I don't even know your name."

"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call meBubba."

The lost, truly Lost Poet!

Children:

I was drivingwith my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in theconvertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I wasreeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom,that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'

On the first dayof school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The noteread, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of hisparents.'

A little boy gotlost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he wasspotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and runningfor cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's thematter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'

While working foran organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued bythe various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers andwheelchairs... One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking ina glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merelyturned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'

A little girl waswatching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning histuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.'
'And why not,darling?'
'You know that italways gives you a headache the next morning.'

A little girl hadjust finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said toher mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'

Next up …Amy!

Did you know"listen" and "silent" use the sameletters?

Do you know that"race car" spelled backwards
still spells "race car"?

And that"eat" is the only word that if you take the first
        letter and move it to the last, it spells itspast tense "ate"?

        And have you noticed that if yourearrange the letters in "illegal immigrants," and add just a fewmore letters, it
        spells:

"Go home youfree-loading, benefit-grabbing, resource-sucking, baby-making,non-English-speaking
        jackasses and take those other hairy-faced,sandal-wearing, bomb-making, camel-riding, goat-loving,
        raggedy-ass bastards with you."


        How weird is that?

And, by far, thelargest contributor…Tater.

A large jet plane crashed on a farm in the middle of rural Kentucky. Panic stricken, thelocal sheriff mobilized and descended on the farm in force. By the time theygot there, the aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hull leftsmoldering in a tree line that bordered the farm.

The sheriff and his men entered the smoking mess but couldfind no remains of anyone. They spotted the farmer plowing a field not too faraway as if nothing had happened. They hurried over to the man's tractor.

"Hank," the sheriff yelled, panting and out ofbreath. "Did you see this terrible accident happen?" "Yep. Suredid," the farmer mumbled unconcerned, cutting off the tractor's engine.

"Do you realize that is Air Force One, the airplane ofthe President of the

United States

"Yep."

"Were there any survivors?" "Nope. They'sall kilt straight out," the farmer answered. "I done buried them allmyself. Took me most of the morning."

"President Obama is dead?" the sheriff asked.

"Well," the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor,"He kept a-saying he wasn't... But you know how bad that sumbitchlies..."

Office signs!

Barbie-Q lol

Tee Shirts!!

What acoincidence! ME TOO!

NO MAM’ they areNOT!

Here’s arealllllly short bedtime story:

Alrightfuckers….I’m out!! Have a kick ass weeknd!!!

No need to thankme for the laughs! I appreciate blowjobs……

Sin...gotta say i LOVE this one :)

2011-08-26T13:20:00.000-05:00

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

Gotta say I love love this song and vid!

It’s a sin

And yes I thrive upon it

All the moral right

All the disgust

It makes me the freak

Things are never as good

If they’re good

Sanctioned

Tongues of men

Believe some deity cares

Where you stick your dick

Cast aside as

A sin

A sickness

An addiction

Don’t get me wrong

Don’t misunderstand

I’m sure he has a place

For those

Like you

It leaves to the point of

Frustration

Anger

Lust

So….

hard

It doesn’t damage the soul

Anymore than

Their hate filled words

In my opinion

But what do I know?

I’m a freak

Yea, I’m the freak

Just a quick tease

2011-08-22T09:12:00.000-05:00

Create a playlist at MixPod.com

I won’t apologize for the freak I am

I wont bend my ummm

‘Morals’

To suit you

This is my game

I make the rules

You obviously don’t read the terms and conditions

Before you sign the dotted line

Sigh

I wish I could feel sorry for you

But

You’re my toy now

Oh, you just wanted to

Try?

Tsk Tsk

You look so nice

Chained to the bedroom wall

It’s like

Real time art

And now…….

It’s only the start

The Great East Coast Trip

2011-08-15T11:23:00.000-05:00

Create a playlist at MixPod.com

Yes, despite vicious rumors I am still alive. I can’t speak for my liver of course, only my brain…and well….was there ever really much there to begin with? Hah! I have vanished from blogging for a while. I just have been busy. Not that I haven’t been naughty ;) just busy..lol. Busy at being naughty? SIGH! Anyway anyway…let’s get to the point of the blog.

For the first time in like forever we took vacation out of state. We drove all the way to NY to visit my E besty Sherry. Most of you know her. Anyways, it turned into a really great meet and greet trip seeing so many of you guys that I have talked to forever here in cyber land but never have met. I wanted to drive mostly because it’s cheaper. But, I also wanted to see places I had never seen. I saw DC, I saw Richmond, I saw PA, NC…hell I even saw NJ….if that even counts..LOL. After that trip, I will say. I got that shit out of my system..LMAO. We will be flying on all return trips..lol. But, in all seriousness, it was amazing. And we actually made this 40 car hour journey with minimum fights..lol. My daughter came with us and so did Cassie. As if we’d ever go on vacation with out Cassie..pfft. She’s part of our family…always.

The first leg was stopping in Atlanta to see Miss Alice King. We had a nice dinner and her boys are just adorable! I have no clue why we took no photos here. But, it was great meeting her. We resuced a rubber duck in that stop which you’ll see in every pic we took from then on almost..LOL.

Then the next stop was NC to meet Chrissie, AaronPCP and Tee. Yes, there supposed to be a nice party and bar night but as with this whole trip we never managed to get anywhere before 3 AM for some reason..LOL. All I can say is thank god you didn’t make the drive Jenna..LOL. But, we did do brunch before we left the next day with all of them and it was truly wonderful. I love Chrissie to death. And well, Aaron is simply fuckable and Tee is an amazing peppy woman. I think our only regret, at every stop, was not having enough time to be there longer. One day guys, one day…I’ll be able to do it longer.

From there it was off to DC. Once again, that fucking GPS lady lies about driving time, don’t ever let that bitch fool you. Add 3 hours to whatever she says! I think we rolled into DC about 10PM? And of course briefly met Berrak and her lovie. Quick photos and a walk up the capitol steps and around the monuments then off to NY.

Again, the GPS bitch lies and we roll into Sherry’s in Elmira about 6:30 AM. Beautiful country there. We got photos of the sun breaking over the mountains. I cannot tell you how wonderful it was to spend a whole week with Sherry. I loves her so much. She was a most gracious host and cooks like she’s from the south, I tell ya, she’s living in the wrong region..lol. We did lots of stuff with her..hung out, went up to the lake. I know Sherry, we missed the falls, but you know we’ll be back for that! And of course we wanted to head to NYC. But, we decided to head over to the AWESOME Jennifer Breedlove’s house in Allentown, PA the night before so we’d be a little closer to the city, not 4 hours. I can’t say enough about how much I enjoyed this stop!!! Although I do believe this was the worst for you, poor Cassie! LMAO! I have known Jen for years online. We have a lot of common ground as far as personal issues and her hubby with his kidney disease. She cooked an excellent meal and had a bottle of Tequila and Vodka at the ready. Gotta love a woman who’s prepared, right? This was the party on this trip. The girls killed almost that entire bottle. I actually was somewhat reserved. And well, of course I had fucking Billy Joel’s song Allentown stuck in my head. Lots of boobies though here…gotta love that! HAH! Jen, I truly enjoyed your place! I wish so badly we could have had more time.

So, we decide to drive to the Staten Island ferry and take it into NYC…well, that was the plan. Of course fucked by the fucking GPS lady again. We had tickets to the WTC museum at 3:45 PM and if we would have taken the ferry we would have been late. So, fuck it, we drove right into the city. Actually, I preferred this. I like driving. And, I live in Houston, so really it’s pretty much almost the same thing. I like city driving. We made our museum trip. Amazing piece of history. Done very tasteful. Walked through Battery Park. Had real NY Pizza. Saw the Empire State Building. And of course Times Square. Personally, I fucking loved Times Square. God I could SO have spent a lot of time there. There was so much to do and too little time. Oh yea, it rained the entire fucking day and night there. It didn’t dampen my fun though.

After that is was time to head back to Elmira..again..fucking 6AM getting home..LOL.

On our track back home, we stopped in DC again to get a better look at everything during the day. Toured the Capitol. And then headed to KY to see the wonderful Momma of a baby Hobbit! We spent the night there….again arriving at 3 AM. Do you see a pattern here? Jody was an amazing host. Her husband a gracious man as well. At this point I realize I was less than an hour away from you Jenna! I was pissed cause we SO could have dropped by, but time was running low and it was time to get on the road.

The next stop was dinner with the ever fucking famous Naked Nurse. I love love love love this woman. I have read her for years. She was my E-celeb. Crush..lol.. She was such a sweet woman. Nice chest, as if we ALL don’t know that from her years online. I truly would have loved to have more than a cpl hours with her.

Last stop was Nashville to visit David! Another online friend for years. It felt good to finally meet him. He truly is an excellent and brilliant man. We spent the least time with him, just a coffee. Another that I could have spent days with.

And finally…HOME!!!

So, there are the brief snapshots from the wonderful trip!

I cannot tell you the memories we made on this trip with each of you. For years, you guys have been my friends. You’ve supported me and my blogging. You have helped me through rough times, near death health issues, pretty much everything. Although I may never meet some of you, you all hold a very special place in my heart. I know some people like the anonymity of their online hubs. I am so glad that those I am close to felt secure enough to drop that and let me glimpse into their real lives if only for a few hours. It was truly amazing. Because, in all honesty, you guys online are some of my best friends. You get the complete me, no niceities, no fake exterior. You all know more of me than most people in my day to day lives. You see the inner workings of me, my inner thoughts and hopes, dreams and even downfalls. To me, that is true friendship. I can promise there WILL be a return trip next year. Although not driving but I will make my way back to some of you. And all you West Coaster’s….I haven’t forgotten you all either. There will be, one day, an adventure your way.

Meeting people outside of my little PC is not an easy thing for me. Hell, that could be an entire blog in itself. I have serious anxiety and social issues. But, on this trip I found some great people and actually got to do and see places I never thought I would. And, it’s opened me up the idea of doing it more. I want to see the things I want. I don’t want to miss anything because of my silly thoughts of inadequacies. My brother died far too young to explore things he wanted. And, I don’t want to do the same. So, a final thank you to ALL you guys!!

Now before I go….just some random

Virginia: Fast drivers (love), Marlboro cigarettes for 4 bucks (HELL yes) and cheapest gas!!

SC and NC: get with the fucking program and raise your speed limit to 70…LMAO. Although you guys in NC seem to ignore that limit, but the fuckers in SC REALLY all went 60?!?!

Maryland: BEAUTIFUL!! Drive thru liquor stores AND Liquor on Sundays..lmao.

NJ: SRSLY??? I cant pump my own gas because it causes a dangerous situation?? Lol

DC: Actually, very clean. Umm, there is no such thing as traffic laws, I’m just saying…I learned that REALLY quick! No left turn=no problem. No Uturn=no problem. Go on Red=No problem.

TN: Umm okay so anyone who knows me will be shocked to hear this..SLOW DOWN..LMMFAO. You guys fucking fly…like faster than us in Texas. I swear I was going 90 in the slow lanes.

NYC: actually not bad. But cabbies..SRSLY…them fuckers just go..right in front of your ass..LMAO. They don’t care when they wanna pull out they’re gonna!